Ella Kallish is a nationally syndicated columnist with 17 years experience marketing candidates directly to decision-makers inside business organizations throughout the United States. Her "Ask Ella" column now offers you personal, strategic and tactical advice on all your workplace questions. E-mail: Send Your Question To Ella

Dear Ella,

Is it okay to ask a person I interviewed with, but who didn't give me the job, to recommend other things I could do in an interview to make myself more likely to get the next job?

Dear What Do You Like About Me?

I often recommend to my candidates that they participate in interviews they wouldn't normally go after because its good practice. Since jobs are literally won or lost during the interview process, it's important to understand your professional weaknesses and your professional strengths. Interviewing is the best way to find out where you excel and where you're falling down professionally.

Interviewers endeavor to assess more than just your level of expertise in a particular discipline when they meet with you; they also make judgment calls about your cultural fit, communication skills, dress and demeanor, personality, energy level, intelligence, effort, health and level of interest in the job and the company itself. The more practiced you are in the art of interviewing, the more job offers you'll get.

You practice interviewing by going on interviews. Good ones, bad ones, interesting ones, boring ones -- any interview you can get to prepare yourself for the one job you really, really want.

Once you've interviewed with a company and realized an offer will not be forthcoming, contact the interviewer for feedback as to why you fell out of consideration. While many interviewers are uncomfortable telling a candidate the real truth behind their decisions, if you appeal to them on the grounds that you need this information to improve future performance, they'll tell you what you want and need to know. Make sure that you make them feel comfortable with sharing this information by not putting them on the defensive when they offer feedback. Your job at this point is to listen, not speak.

If, because of time constraints, you're unable to attend any outside practice interviews, ask your friends and family members to participate in a mock interview session where they can ask you questions about your skill set and take notes on their impressions of you as a prospective employee -- the good, the bad and the ugly.

Dear Ella,

I am a 57-year-old woman who has been looking for a job for the last five months. I know that I am marketable and experienced enough to land administrative assistant, human-resource assistant or even banking positions.

I have a vast experience in fields such as data entry and the like. My predicament, however, is not landing on any of the jobs, and I'm beginning to wonder if it is my age that makes me fail to get hired. I have a master's degree in educational counseling and more than 18 years' experience in the work force.

I am personable and, at times during the interviews, I feel like interviewers might be threatened by my personality and achievements, so they deny me the position.

From your perspective, what are senior citizens like me heading to in the future? I'm beginning to lose hope and definitely need your opinion and guidance.

Dear Never Too Old,

Yipes! Senior citizen? It's my understanding that the retirement age to collect Social Security may soon hit 70, so you've at least another 13 years in the work force before you can call yourself old or over the hill.

Since you're getting the interviews you go after, your experience and academic history are not the reason you're not getting the offers. It must be your demeanor or the way you physically present yourself.

Since how we look and feel says a lot about us to others, take a good look at yourself in the mirror and find ways you can improve your professional appearance. If you need to get rid of those grey hairs, take off those extra pounds, recharge your gait and update your wardrobe to look like the bright and shinny penny of a professional you need to be in order to compete in today's job market, then you had better get it done!

Once the look and feel have been attended to, go into interviews with the objective of building a relationship by assuming a colleague-like position from the get-go. Just by the way you enter a room, extend your hand, engage the interviewer with friendly eyes and flash your pearly whites you can disarm and charm your interviewers, putting them at ease with you enough that they can look past your seniority and see you as a potential colleague, friend, supporter and confidant they'd like on their team.

Since you're already aware that past interviewers may have been threatened by your experience and academic achievement, find ways to extol the interviewer's work and management style throughout the interview. Make sure that you listen more than you speak and ask questions that require the person to educate you with information they are familiar and seasoned with.

Go into interviews with the attitude that you're going to learn something new and interesting and you'll come off new and interesting, too.

Private Career Coaching Workshop With Ella Kallish

• How To Write A Resume
• How To Market A Resume
• How To Follow Up On A Resume Sent
• Beginning, Middle And End: An Interviewing Strategy
• Expert Corner: Michael Gage/Career Center University Miami
• Ethics In Corporate America
• Program Provides Opportunity For Continuing Ed
Changing Communication Models
A Thought: Documenting Your Work Life

All Rights Reserved by Ella Kallish
Written By Ella Kallish
For more information on Ella Kallish go to AskElla.com.
Ella Kallish is available for corporate and group seminars.